Raiders of the XMansion
by Red Witch
Summary: When the XMen call Todd to help them with a problem only he can solve, the other Brotherhood members come for the ride and to have a little fun of their own.


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Ants have eaten the disclaimer that tells people that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Just more fun with the Brotherhood after 'Ascension'! 

**Raiders of the X-Mansion**

"I can't believe the X-Men actually asked us to help them," Lance shook his head as the Brotherhood pulled up to the driveway. 

"Actually they just asked **me** to help them," Todd grinned.

"**That's** what's so unbelievable," Lance said. "Why?" 

"Let's just say that it's a problem only my particular talents can solve," Todd grinned. 

"Do you know why they called him?" Wanda asked Fred. 

"No but it beats sitting around home all day," Fred remarked. 

Pietro was at the door tapping his foot. "I can't believe you guys made me run here!" 

"There was no room in the jeep," Lance parked it. "Besides you run faster than I drive anyway." 

"Yeah but still it's the principle of the thing," Pietro smoothed his hair. 

The door opened to reveal Logan. "About time you got here Frog Boy," He grunted. 

"And hello to you too Mr. Sunshine," Pyro folded his arms. "Still all warm and fuzzy I see?"

"What are all of you doing here?" Logan asked.

"We had nothing better to do so…" Fred shrugged.

"All right come on in," Logan grunted. "Obviously the Professor thinks we're desperate enough to call him over so the rest of you might as well help. Just one wrong move and you're shish kabob. Got it?"

"Yeah like that frightens me," Wanda glared back as they walked in. 

"That's enough you two," Xavier wheeled in. "I'm glad you could make it Mr. Tolensky."

"Hey happy to help," Todd grinned.

"Okay I can't stand it anymore," Pietro said. "What exactly is the problem here? I mean what is it that you X-Men can't handle that you need Toad to do it?"

"Well you see…" Xavier began. 

"EWWWWWWW! LIKE THERE ARE ANTS ALL OVER THE FLOOR!" Kitty screamed from another room. 

"THAT'S NOTHING!" Amara screamed. "NOW THERE ARE MORE COCKROACHES IN THE KITCHEN! DIE! DIE VERMIN! DIE!" 

"We have a slight…pest control problem," Xavier sighed. 

"Well between the Elf's late night snacking, the Ice Cube's secret sugar stash and lord only knows how many candy bars Multiple and the others have snuck in I'm not **that **shocked," Logan grumbled. "Not to mention the way most of these kids eat around here. I'm surprised this hasn't happened long ago." 

"**Now** it all makes sense," Pietro rolled his eyes. 

"Well time to go to work!" Todd clapped his hands. "Where shall I start first? Shall I get the ants as an appetizer? Or go right to the kitchen for the main course?" 

"SCOTT GET IN HERE AND KILL THIS BEE RIGHT NOW!" Jean could be heard screaming. 

"I think you'd better start with Red before she goes into meltdown," Logan rolled his eyes.

"Will do!" Todd hopped away. "Tally ho!" 

"This is going to be interesting," Pietro snickered. "Wait for me Toad!" He zoomed after him.

"So John," Xavier decided to make small talk with the rest of the Brotherhood. "How are you settling in Bayville?"

"It's Pyro," He frowned. 

"Excuse me?" Xavier blinked.

"I refuse to call myself by my human name," Pyro huffed. "It represents the collar my human oppressors gave me!"

"You mean your parents?" Logan raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah they used to hassle me all the time!" Pyro huffed. "Do this John! Do that John! Clean up this mess John! Don't leave the light on in the hallway John! Go buy me some cigarettes John! Don't set the Christmas tree on fire John! John don't spray paint the cat! We don't want dynamite in the house John! No John not the neighbor's lawn! AAGGGGHHH! Right bunch of fascists they were!" 

"Yeah…" Logan looked at him. "Still calling yourself by your codename's pretty strange kid." 

"What's so strange about that?" Pyro asked. "I mean look at Rogue, you use her codename all the time!" 

"Well yeah but…" Logan stopped. He looked at Xavier. "Does Rogue even **have **a real name?" 

"She wouldn't tell me," Xavier shrugged. "Darned if I know. I once suggested she make one up like Marie or something. But then…well let's just say I decided it was best to leave it alone."

"Right because she knows that a mutant name is better than one's human name," Pyro said. 

"It's not better it's just…" Xavier began. 

"And what about Jean? Huh?" Pyro continued. "Why doesn't that Sheila have a codename?"

"Yeah we've been wondering that ourselves," Lance remarked. "Why don't you have a nice long question and answer session with him about that?" 

"What did you run out of codenames for her?" Pyro asked as the Brotherhood quickly skedaddled out of the room. "Is she too good to have a codename? Does she feel like she's not mutant enough for one? Does she have some kind of reverse inferiority complex?" 

"You know you might want to ask Red about that…" Logan groaned. "Hey! Where did those lunatics go? Never mind! I'll go find them!" He ran off too.

This left Pyro alone with Xavier. "And another thing that's been bothering me…" Pyro went on. "Why'd you give the blue boy the name Nightcrawler? That's a worm's name! What made you name the kid after a worm? Do you like worms? Does he like worms? Why not something really cool like Dark Demon or Devlin or something that really shows his personality? Do you come up with the names or do the students pick them out of a hat somewhere? Can they change their names if they want to? Is there a form they have to fill out? Don't you hate filling out forms? Does anybody like filling out forms? Speaking of filling what's your favorite kind? Do you like apple or cherry? Or do you like chocolate instead?" 

"Do I have any extra aspirin left?" Xavier groaned holding his temple as Pyro went on with his questions.

Meanwhile the rest of the Brotherhood had tracked down Todd. He had found the bee in Jean's room. Or what was left of it. "That was a good bee," Todd licked his lips. "Well that job's done!" 

"Did you have to wreck my room doing it?" Jean asked. Clothes and things were strewn everywhere and several items were overturned. 

"That was just a perk," Pietro was going through her closet. "Oooh! Cashmere! You do have nice taste Red!" 

"You're gonna be tasting the floor if you don't knock it off!" Jean grabbed her sweater away from Pietro. 

"Will somebody please do something about these cockroaches and ants in the kitchen?" Kitty groaned as she walked into the room.

"No problem," Lance grinned. "Toad!" 

"I'm on it!" Todd hopped away.

"Wait for me!" Fred followed him. "He might need help!" 

"Yeah right," Kitty rolled her eyes. 

"I take it things aren't exactly rosy at Mutant Manor huh?" Lance grinned.

"Tell me about it," Kitty groaned. "There are like creepy bugs everywhere."

"Yeah well," Wanda waved. "That's the one thing Toad's good for. Say what you want about the Brotherhood House but at least we never have a pest problem."

"Well at least the insect related ones," Lance smirked. 

"Was that a crack?" Pietro folded his hands on his hips. He was also wearing one of Jean's hats on his head.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Jean telekinetically grabbed her hat and shoved Pietro out the door.

"All right! All right!" Pietro snapped. "Your clothes are so last season anyway!" 

"Come on Pietro," Wanda took his arm. "Stop bothering Jean."

"You're right," Pietro grinned. "Let's see if we can bother someone else instead," He broke free and took off down the hall. 

"I'd better go after him," Wanda grumbled as she stomped after her brother. "Why do I have to be the sane one in the family?" 

"So…" Lance fumbled for something to say. "Uh…How are things here now that mess with Apocalypse is over?"

"Pretty much settled down," Kitty sighed. "At least Kurt and Rogue aren't fighting anymore." 

"GET OUT OF HERE FUZZBUCKET BEFORE I THROW YOU THROUGH THE WALL!" They heard Rogue shout.

"You were saying?" Lance raised an eyebrow as they went to investigate. 

"Like what are you two fighting about this time?" Kitty asked as they made their way to the bathroom. 

"Kurt just covered the bathroom in shaving cream!" Rogue snapped. "See!" She showed them.

"I did not!" Kurt snapped. "I just found it like this. Lance what are you doing here?"

"Toad's here to help us with the bug problem which you made," Kitty said. "And the rest of the Brotherhood came along for the ride."

"Hey I am not the one who leaves half eaten candy bars under his bed!" Kurt snapped. 

"WHOO HOO! I HIT THE JACKPOT!" Todd could be heard screaming. 

"Toad did you have to tip over my bed?" Bobby shouted.

"How can you tell the difference?" Sam asked. "HEY! ISN'T THAT MY SKATEBOARD? THE ONE YOU SAID JAMIE TOOK?" 

"Wait a minute," Kurt blinked. "If the Brotherhood is here then that means…" 

"YEHAAAA!" Pietro whizzed by them. Soon they were all covered in shaving cream.

"I believe the mystery is now solved," Lance wiped shaving cream away from his face.

"Sorry Kurt," Rogue apologized. "Let's go kill Pietro."

"I'll hold him down, you get the first punch," Lance offered as they chased after him.

************************************************************************

"Now the trick to ants is finding the queen," Todd explained. "Once you get the queen it's all pretty much over." He snaked his tongue through a hole in the kitchen wall. He pulled it out and gulped. "Nope. Just more workers." 

"I can't believe we're reduced to watching this for entertainment!" Ray groaned. He and Tabitha were watching Todd in the kitchen while Fred was happily rifling through the cabinets chowing down on whatever he found. 

"This is nothing," Tabitha told him. "You should see what they do when they're really bored! Blob! Stop scarfing all our chow!" 

"I'm just cleaning up all the excess mess you have," Fred informed them with his mouth full of food. "Hey you got Ding Dongs in here!" 

"I'm just saying as mutants should embrace their new names!" Pyro continued as he followed Xavier into the kitchen. "We should throw off the shackles of our oppressors!" 

"And I should listen to Scott more when he says something is a bad idea," Xavier groaned. "How's it coming Toad?"

"Getting there," Todd licked his lips. "I got a whole bunch of eggs!" 

"Ah ha!" Pyro said. "You just called him Toad!"

"Everybody calls him Toad," Tabitha said. 

"But you never call him Todd," Pyro said. 

"I'd like it if people called me Todd," Todd said. "But Toad's okay too." 

"You should like it better if people call you Toad!" Pyro said. "Say it loud and say it proud!" 

"What is he going on about?" Tabitha asked.

"Don't ask," Xavier groaned. 

"He does kind of get chatty when he goes on about something," Fred remarked. "Especially when it comes to his name." 

"Oh really," Xavier drawled. "I hadn't noticed." 

"Have you seen my brother?" Wanda walked in with Lance and Kitty covered in shaving cream. 

"No," Tabitha said. "Let me guess he's in one of his little moods isn't he?"

"Bingo! Is he almost done?" Kitty pointed at Todd.

"Getting there," Todd remarked. "Oh these are so juicy."

"You think that's tasty you should try these chips," Fred told him as he munched on them. 

"Oh great! Now Blob's eating all our food in the kitchen!" Kitty groaned.

"See that!" Pyro said. "She called him Blob! You don't have a problem with that?" 

"GOT HER!" Todd slurped it down. "Oh she was a big one!" 

"I think I'm gonna hurl," Ray groaned as he stumbled off to the nearest bathroom. "WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SHAVING CREAM?"

"Okayit'stimeweallwenthomenow!" Pietro ran by quickly. "Byebye!" 

"COME BACK HERE YOU MANIAC!" Logan ran by covered with shaving cream, claws waving. 

"I think it's time we must be going," Lance gulped.

"Please!" Xavier groaned. "And take **him** with you!" He pointed at Pyro. 

"Come on Pyro," Lance sighed as the Brotherhood left.

"Did you know the entire first floor is covered in shaving cream?" Scott walked in just as the Brotherhood left.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Amara screamed. "MY NEW SHOES!"

"Yes," Logan stomped in wiping off the shaving cream. "Well we finally got rid of our pests! And I don't mean the bugs!" 

"It was such a good idea at the time," Xavier sighed. "Why didn't it work?"

"Do you want the short list or the long?" Scott asked. 

"Next time this happens we'll let the bugs stay," Logan grumbled. "There'd be a lot less damage!" 

************************************************************************

"Well that killed an afternoon," Lance remarked as they walked back into the Brotherhood House. 

"I wish we could have killed something else," Wanda grumbled. "Or should I say someone?" 

"I had fun talking to the good Professor," Pyro said. "Did you know he has some kind of nervous twitch in his left eye?" 

"Hey at least I got some Christmas shopping done," Pietro remarked. "I made a few trips back and forth from the mansion." 

"Anybody want a snack?" Fred offered them one of the bags of potato chips he 'liberated'. 

"None for me," Todd hiccuped. "I'm stuffed!" 


End file.
